Are you living a label? Neatly presented?
It’s just easier that way, isn’t it? You know who you are, what you’re supposed to do. So does everyone else. Job done.
Except it’s not. Many of us are frustrated at the boxes we find ourselves in.
The best coders are linguists
I was fascinated to read recently that a scientific study (led by Chantel Prat, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Washington) has revealed the most important skill for coders – and it’s not maths or engineering, but the ability to learn languages. Who would connect those two worlds?
And then someone asked me how I would describe myself. As a ‘business owner’, a ‘coach/therapist’, a ‘strategic consultant’? Funny none of those things sprang to mind. Because I mainly identify with being a ‘mum’. But that’s not one that pops up on many LinkedIn profiles. Not sure the recruitment industry has that one in their keyword search yet.
Yet if I break down the components of ‘mum’ I see straight away what I carry across all the things I do:
- I get stuff sorted
- I really care about doing the right thing
- I am always looking to the future – trying to grow
OK these are generics you could say (yawn), but I would say they are far more revealing than the labels on my LinkedIn profile.
When you ask many people to name their greatest achievement, it’s funny how they often cite their kids or a hobby. Not a job, a career advancement, a business success.
What’s with the dinosaur?
For those of you reading this who may wonder why a dinosaur is in the picture – let me explain. It’s a wonderful image I carry with me of my daughter aged two. Christmas with grandparents and a shiny new doll’s house. Out came the beautifully hand-crafted wooden dolls – in went the plastic dinosaurs. Each one with its own window to peer out of. Not quite what any of us expected. And yet why not? Who says dolls have to live in doll’s houses?
At the age of two my daughter had already learned to ‘reimagine the box’. I really hope that mindset sticks with her.
So how do we recapture some of that magic as adults? How do we learn to step out of the boxes?
Look at where you gain the most
Ask yourself one very simple question:
- What do I gain from being in this box/having this label? How does it make me feel?
If the answer is positive, then great. You’ve found your place.
But if words such as ‘frustrated’, ‘unrecognised’, ‘out of place’, ‘constrained’ come to mind then ask yourself another question:
- In which parts of my life do I NOT feel those things? What do I think is different about those parts?
If expressions such as ‘I’m being myself’, ‘I’m learning’, ‘I’m having an impact’ come to mind then you’ve answered your own dilemma.
If you’re still in that box, it’s time to break down the walls.
Stop living the label, start living the life you want.
If you want help to move on in your life, to take stock of HOW you’re living your life, WHAT you want and WHO you want to be, get in touch for a free discovery chat. Contact me on jane@mynextme.co.uk.
(Image by Lucas George Wendt on Unsplash)